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The Mother's Heart

Submission to the Will of God

by Joylene Walters (a pseudonym)

 
She was just four years old; a sweet gentle child.  There she lay, asleep on her mother's bed.

But it was not a peaceful scene.  For weeks now…almost months…. she had been subjected to test after test after test.  The nurses loved her quiet submission to the seemingly endless blood tests, and rewarded her with smiley faces drawn on the band-aid after each event.  But the tests weren't revealing the reason for the ashen-grey little face. 

The doctor's phone call had had a sense of urgency to it.  "There's only one more test for us to do. . ." he spoke gently, "a bone marrow test. . . and you know what I'm looking for, don't you?"

The heart of a mother beat ferociously as the young woman stood looking down at her precious daughter.  It seemed like she had been in constant communion with heaven for weeks. . .pleading with God for the life of her child.  The doctor's words rang in her ears, driving home the stark reality that this little life hung in the balances.

Quietly, not wishing to disturb the sleeping child, the young mother knelt beside the bed.  A flood of silent tears streamed down her face as she buried her head in her hands. 

She had begged God long enough.  There was just one thing left to do . . . and it was time.  She poured it all out to God, what the doctor had said, how desperately she longed for her daughter's life to be spared, nothing was left unspoken.  And then she said it - "Lord, she's in Your hands now, totally, whether she lives, or dies!  I know You don't want anyone to die.  I know You can heal her, but if. . . if . . . if you allow her to die . . .  I will accept it. 

The tears flowed freely as she lifted her head to look once more into the face of her precious child.  But she knew she had done what she needed to do.  At that moment, from deep within her heart rose an amazing quiet calm.  In spite of the flowing tears, she was completely at peace, the child was still ashen-grey, nothing had changed there, but what a change within the mother's heart!  Submission had brought peace.

- - - - - - - - -

That was twenty years ago now.  I have never forgotten it, and I never will.  The peace that comes with total submission to God is worth every ounce of human agony that it takes to come to that point.  I know, because each time I have been willing and prepared to give my difficulties, my impossibilities, my storms into God's hands, He has always sustained me.  Yes, my daughter is still alive, but not everything that I have submitted into God's hands has had positive outcomes, absolutely not!  That's not what submission is all about.

Submission is about God's will - not mine!  I want everything to turn out right, to go the way I want it to go.  Submission says "Whatever You allow, Lord, I will accept."

Submission is about trust - trusting Someone infinitely greater than myself.  It's about being prepared and willing to let go of whatever is most precious or desirable to me in any given situation, and let God take charge.  It's about knowing that God is capable of making things turn out the way I want them to, but being willing for Him not to do so. 

Most of all, submission is about knowing that no matter what the outcome, my God is always by my side.  He will never leave me to face things alone.  And even if it becomes so black and dark that I can't even talk to Him, He's there - supporting me, carrying me, holding me through it all.

And one thing is certain - when I do willingly submit my situation, my circumstances to Him, God puts a wonderful abiding peace deep inside my heart - out of reach of the blinding storms that swirl about me.

Copyright © 2018 Thornleigh Seventh-day Adventist Church