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Martha’s Untold Story

by Kristina Beeby

 
Luke 10:38-42 MKJV  And as they went, it happened that He entered into a certain village. And a certain woman named Martha received Him into her house.  (39)  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word.  (40)  But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she came to Him and said, Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.  (41)  And Jesus answered and said to her, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things.  (42)  But one thing is needful, and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

There is no Biblical evidence for the story; however, when the heart of the Lord, Jesus, touches one whom He loves a life can be transformed.

As I sat at the feet of Jesus and laid my head on His lap I remembered the times it hadn't been this way.  I remembered when this had been Mary, and I had been out in the kitchen, fussing around because there had been so much to do.   I wanted everything to be perfect for him.  He was our friend and I loved him so much that I would do anything for him.

It was hard to take his gentle rebuke, even though there was so much love in his eyes and he spoke with such kindness.  I thought I was doing what would please him.  I know how much he enjoyed eating with us.  But now it seemed that he didn't mind if he ate later, or not even at all.  All he wanted was for Mary and I to come and be with him because he enjoyed our company as well as that of the men.  I didn't understand that at first.  Why?  That was my question.  As we talked later that afternoon he explained why.

How did Mary already know about this?  The answer to that one was that she had spent more time with him and watched him.  She saw him with the children, she saw how he treated other people, and she saw his soft, compassionate heart.  It struck something deep within her and awakened her deep desires.  She wanted this love, so she stayed close to the one who could give it to her.

I remember seeing them together and wishing I could do that too, but somebody had to make preparations for dinner, otherwise none of us would eat.  So I did the preparations and the serving, always with a little part of me wanting to go out there and be with him like Mary.  The longing and, I suppose, jealousy, built up until that day when I snapped and asked Jesus to tell Mary to come and help me.  Then we could both have time with him.  I wasn't expecting his answer at all.  But he was right; I was worried about many things.  When Jesus said that I broke down and cried.  How had I gotten it so wrong?  I went back to the kitchen, sat down, held my head in my hands and sobbed.  It felt like my heart was breaking.

I didn't hear his footsteps as he came up behind me and put his hand on my head.  I looked up and through the tears I saw his face.  He was smiling at me but there was also love and concern in his eyes.  He took my hand and I stood up.  He gently wrapped his arms around me and held me.  The tears came again and it seemed like every little hurt, fear and anxiety came to the surface at the same time.  I don't know how long we stood there for.  Jesus didn't say anything, he just held me and somehow the broken places were soothed.

Then I began thinking about dinner again.  He hushed me and said just to rest there awhile and let him love me.  He told me how he had hoped I would come out with Mary and sit with him.  I started to protest again, but he placed his finger over my lips and looked deep into my eyes.  I knew that he could see to my very soul, even to the places I couldn't see. 

I wanted so much to be able to let go of everything that was keeping me away from him, but I didn't know if I could.  There was something in his eyes though, that seemed to be pleading with me to trust him.  I still didn't know how that was going to get dinner made!

We went back to the others then and Jesus resumed his place with Mary still at his feet.  He beckoned me to come over to him and sit with Mary.  I hesitated a little, not knowing what Mary would think.  Would she be offended because of my outburst?  I need not have worried.  As I approached the place where they sat, Mary got up and hugged me.  It was so nice to feel my sister's embrace.  We were a close family, Mary, Lazarus and I, but somehow this hug was different. 

So I sat there at the feet of Jesus for the first time.  It took me a while to unwind and forget about the things that were troubling me, but it seemed the longer I sat there, the fewer my anxieties became.  They just melted away.  I listened to the stories Jesus told.  Stories of faith, stories of healing, deliverance from demons, bread multiplying, storms calmed.  Jesus always told these stories with love.  He never criticised the people he spoke about.  He turned each story around so that we had nothing but love for everyone concerned.  I don't know how he did it.

Every time after that day when Jesus came to visit us I sat for a while at his feet with Mary.  Even so, I was still the one who did most of the preparation and serving of dinner.  That was something I couldn't let go of.  It had to be done so I did it.  A part of me still longed to be totally free to sit there with Mary, but the jealousy was gone.  This is what Mary has chosen to do and as Jesus said, "it will not be taken away from her."

Jesus has gone now, but not really.  He was such a big part of our lives.  We adored having him in our home and when he brought Lazarus back to us from the tomb we could not begin to find the words to thank him.  We will never forget how he came into our lives and turned them upside down.  He changed the way we thought about things and he brought us love.  If I could just see him one more time and lay my head in his lap one more time it would be wonderful.

Jesus, my Lord.  You have come into my life and looked deep into my heart.  You have seen the real me, the me I try to hide, but still your heart is for me.  You know my faults and weaknesses, my pain.  You know my desires.  You know my joy and the things that make me happy.  You know what touches my heart and moves me to tears.  How does your love reach to every person?  How does your love reach to every corner of my heart?  Your love covers me like a blanket, keeping me warm against the cold night. 

Jesus, with your voice to guide me and your hands to hold me, I will walk from the place where I have been held captive.  With the power of your name the chains that have held me are loosed.  The days may be tough, they may be unknown, but still I will stay by your side and listen to your voice.  Jesus, the whole universe exists because of your name and your word, yet you pause to turn your eyes upon me, the one who longs for you but is too scared to let go.  Grant your peace to this soul and fill this heart with the desires of your heart.  Jesus, my Jesus, look upon me with mercy and help me walk in your ways.  Jesus, my heart and my soul cries out to you and asks for your grace in times of need.   

Jesus, let these words fill your ears and may your heart be inclined towards me.  Rescue me from myself and teach me, that I may live in you.  May my ears hear your heartbeat and my heart move to the rhythms of yours.  I will thank you for your joy and peace even when they are not evident.  I will praise you for your love and tenderness for you are so kind and gentle.  Thank you Jesus… thank you Jesus..

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